


The Purge King's Mistake

by Grimbo5



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: F/M, Redemption(Sort of), Wrath IF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29830002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grimbo5/pseuds/Grimbo5
Summary: Having given up on his life of constant betrayal, Subaru loses the will to live. Until he is asked a question by a colorless being.
Relationships: Emilia/Natsuki Subaru
Kudos: 49





	The Purge King's Mistake

“Finally, did you come wanting to die, Barusu?” The words originated from the only colored object in the room.

Ram, previously one of the maids of the Roswaal mansion, had come to exact her revenge upon her sister’s murderer.

“...”

The man looked up at her. He was Natsuki Subaru, the Purge King, responsible for the death of 126,700 people. His sharp eyes lacked any sort of warmth and gave the maid a lifeless stare. She was the only thing to be colored in his monochromatic world, a concentration of pure red bloodlust amongst the lifelessness of the room.

‘Things that change betray you’

It was his entire philosophy. It was what drove him to this extreme. The reason his colorless world existed in the first place. Because of one simple rule.

And yet that rule, the one that had served him so well, had been proven false twice in just the past few minutes. This was the second time it had failed him.

The maid’s smile and color proved his philosophy dead wrong. No matter how hard he tried to put her back into the one Ram that he knew, he never got the fit he looked for. Her colors never faded.

“No response, I see. How expected of filth like you, Barusu.” The redness in her hue only deepened. Her smile only grew. The colors only became more vibrant to him. 

It wasn’t possible. Ram couldn’t have changed and failed his philosophy. Yet here she stood before him. She had clearly changed and yet had never betrayed him. Could he be wrong?

It was a question he would never have answered. The maid simply spat at him, “Tch.” and flung the ball and chain in her hands straight towards his head. There was just one single moment that came before his inevitable death that he heard something from someone other than the maid. It was a scream.

“SUBARU!”

A plea for him to be alright. Coming from the one that had proved his philosophy wrong the first time, Emilia.

He remembered her words to him. How she said she needed him and only him, and likewise how he had needed her. It was a classic case of Stockholm syndrome, but it was the truth. She had become dependent on him and needed him as he needed her. Her want to be with him, even willing to die alongside him, just because she only wanted to be with him. Had he been wrong? Would she have betrayed him?

Questions that would go unanswered. The morningstar had reached its target, and with its arrival, it blew Subaru’s head completely off.

____________________________________________________________________________

The sensation of death had not been one felt by Subaru for a long time. His last use of his curse had been the day his philosophy came to exist. When that god awful maid had come to murder him, to betray him. All because of an ability he couldn’t control, she had killed him in cold blood.

It was his basis. She was the one that started it. The scum that had shown him how the world worked. Something that can change will betray you. Yet that rule had been counteracted by her counterpart.

‘I’ve forgotten this sensation. This ability, even.’

His ability. Return by death was something that had gone against his idea. It showed him that people would change depending exclusively on his actions. It showed him that people had the capability to not betray him. It went so feverishly against him that it threatened to shred his mind into thinner pieces than it already had been. And so he avoided it.

The disregarding of that fact allowed him to never experience it, and to fall deeper and deeper into his own ideas. He thought so adamantly he was correct, yet he had been proven wrong. Someone had needed him. Someone had wanted to be with him. Someone had wanted to support him as he had her.

‘Is that…’

A possibility in a sea of endlessness. One that he had been wrong about. His methods had been proven wrong. He had been shown able to put his trust in just two people.

‘No.’

Yet one he couldn’t accept. She would come to hate him. To betray him. To curse him. To want to kill him. He couldn’t accept it. Emilia would betray him, just like everyone else would. He couldn’t trust anyone except himself. It was how everything worked. The only one he knew wouldn’t betray him was Ram. The exclusive outlier.

“S-Subaru?” A voice reached his ears. He opened his eyes and faced himself towards the source.

It was someone who he had expected to meet on the brink of death. The jealous witch, Satella, had approached him as she always had on his brink of death. Prepared to bring him back and restart the cycle.

“Forgive me...I cannot send you back anymore.”

“I...see.” So he could die. Finally. His world of black and white would finally leave him behind, and he would be able to die. Alone. As he had always wished.

However, Satella had one question to ask. “Is this what you truly want?”

His immediate response would have been yes. It should have been yes. Of course he wanted to die. He didn’t want to suffer anymore. To be betrayed anymore. To exist anymore. Right?

“To be alone?”

Absolutely. His only wish was to be alone. Left to his own devices, so he wouldn’t be betrayed. He couldn’t trust anyone. He didn’t need anyone. They would all betray him.

“To leave her alone?”

He didn’t want anybody. He didn’t need anybody. He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t, He didn’t.

“To never love her?”

“...”

“No…” It was a weak cry from an equally weak man. The purge king, despite being able to kill over one hundred thousand people, was incredibly weak. He needed somebody.

No, he didn’t. He needed nobody. They would all betray him. Everybody would betray him. Things that change betray. That’s all. Changing means betrayal. It does. It does. It does. 

“Stop…” He couldn’t need her. He would not need her. It was impossible. She would betray him. She would leave him. Emilia would hate him. She would recognize how terrible his actions were. When she heard of his misdeeds, she would toss him aside. She wouldn’t ever love him. She couldn’t ever love him.

‘I want to be with Subaru.’ Subaru felt an embrace. He had maintained eye contact with Satella the entire time, and she hadn’t moved a muscle. The voice had originated directly from his brainstem, and when he looked to find the culprit, there was nobody there. She will leave him. It was all he could think about. She couldn’t change. She was noble, and nothing would change her nobility. She would only pretend to love him.

‘You, in a place where you won’t need me, I don’t want to stay somewhere like that.’ Could it be? Could she actually love him? Could she truly want only him by her side, and that would be enough? It wasn’t possible, right?

‘Please, Subaru. I need you. I wish you would come with me.’

“Is that...what you want?”

“It-it-it...isn’t.” He finally admitted it. It wasn’t possible, but it was what he wanted. He wanted to love Emilia, and likewise her to love him. It wasn’t possible, but it was what he wanted. A future that could never be achieved. He didn’t want to be betrayed, and in doing so never gave himself the chance to be. And not giving himself that chance had been his downfall.

Should he allow her that chance? To be given the opportunity to betray him? Would she abuse it? Could she change and not betray him?

Satella smiled. Perhaps her beloved was still within the reach of salvation. Not within her own grasp, but perhaps someone could do it for her. “Very well.”

With the last of her ability, she could send the two of them someplace where envy wouldn’t reach them. Where hopefully, her beloved would be saved. “Tell her.” That would be the last thing Subaru ever heard out of Satella’s mouth, as his vision faded to white haze.

____________________________________________________________________________

Subaru realized he was able to feel again. He felt a solid, rock-plated road underneath his feet and the robes surrounding him were as soft as he remembered. However, they were nothing in comparison to the softness he held in his left hand.

As he opened his eyes, he realized the surrounding world was still monochrome. The buildings surrounding him reminded Subaru all too much of Arlam, but he knew he wasn’t there. The construction was slightly different, and there were no demihumans in Arlam, a stark contrast to what surrounded him here. Plus, the villagers of Arlam would have been terrified of the person he was holding hands with.

“Subaru?” Emilia quietly uddered. She had just borne witness to his incredulously gruesome death and had previously killed both Ram and herself in her rage. Now, standing next to him, she wasn’t sure what to think.

“Emilia…” Subaru couldn’t believe it. Satella had now sent both him and Emilia to yet another world. He was supposed to be dead, but he should have guessed that the witch would never have let him die so easily.

What surprised Subaru more though, was the faintest coloring to her features. In a world of pure monochromality, she stood out as the sole defining feature amongst it. Her hair had retained a bit of its silver, her eyes an incredibly impure amethyst, her skin a pasty white. Emilia’s colors weren’t as vibrant as Subaru remembered, but he could bring them back. Possibly. He only knew one way to find out if her colors could be flushed out.

“Emilia...I need to tell you something.” He had to give her the chance. If she were to truly love him, then she had to hear this. He would lay down his sins in front of her and await her judgment. “I-I’m responsible for the death of over one-hundred-thousand people.” His greatest sin was what she heard first. Had Subaru known she already knew this, he most likely would have left it out of his confession.

“I’m the one who made you like this. It was me who trapped you in that room.” Emilia had already known this, but Subaru, his gaze cast at the ground beneath them, didn’t care. She needed to hear everything. And there was only one last thing for him to say. 

“I could have stopped all of this.” He finished. His voice was clearly on the verge of breaking, as was he, and all he could hope for was to not be betrayed. But when he cast his gaze upon Emilia again…  
…  
...

He found his fear realized because Emilia’s face did not bear a look of support. No, Emilia wore the look of shock.

Her face only appeared like that for a moment, but that was all it took to send Subaru spiraling out of control. He looked upon her to see all of her hue lost. She was colorless. No amethyst eyes, no silver hair, no pale skin… just black and white.

Betrayal. Betrayal. Betrayal. 

Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal Betrayal

I’ve been betrayed, everyone betrays me, anyone who changes betrays me.

Subaru eyes, which had only the slightest glimmer of hope in them, lost all traces of life within them. All he could think of was how he was betrayed by the one who was said to love him. He knew he was right. It was foolish to believe anything else. People who change will always betray you. A philosophy-

‘Why does she have color?’

Emilia’s hair had now reobtained its original silvery origins. It was far more grandiose than he had ever remembered seeing it. Its depth knew no bounds, as the borders between it and her surroundings became as clear as the difference between the white and black of Subaru’s world. The strands seemed to merge, yet if he truly wished to, he could count them individually. He could see each separate bit of color, each string’s slightly different shade from the others.

‘Why?’

As Subaru’s mind wandered desperately for an explanation, as did his eyes. He realized that Emilia was within a breath’s distance, and he felt an unfamiliar sensation grace his lips.

‘Is she?’

Emilia was indeed kissing Subaru Natsuki. Her arms had wrapped around his neck, and had craned his head to allow her easier access to his facial features.

As Subaru acknowledged the reality that was occurring, he started to notice that it wasn’t just her hair that had regained its hue. Emilia in her entirety had been separated from monochrome.

Her originally impure amethyst eyes now possessed an indescribable clarity to them, perfect mixtures of lilac and the wonderful crystal, with their features only there to complement the smallest pools of turquoise that they adorned. 

Her skin, which had been regarded as nothing more than a pasty white, had now come to fruition to be recognized as a palened milkiness, the only separation from which was the soft ruby flush that had taken hold of her cheeks.

The two remained in the position until Emilia had to breathe and slowly pulled away. As she did, Subaru caught a glance of the final feature he had wished to confirm: Her lips. They were even more detailed than he could have ever imagined. The combination of a hard cherry colliding with a cushiony pink completely enchanted him. What’s more, the words that exited those lips captured all of his attention.

“I know, Subaru. I don’t care, though.” She smiled at him as she caught her breath, only indulging him further in whatever trance-like state he was in. “I still need you.”

At that very moment, the world around Subaru gained just the tiniest bit of detail. Whether it was just to enhance Emilia’s radiance or just an offset of his entire mind being overwhelmed, he didn’t know. Neither did he want to. He just wished to stay there, forever.

‘Tell her.’

As the parting words he had gotten from the witch of envy came to mind, he allowed his complete trust to be placed in Emilia once again, as he told her how he felt.

“Emilia…” He prepared himself. It was now or never, and if he didn’t get these words off of his chest, he would never be free of his shackles. He only had one thing to say to the girl in front of him.

“I love you.”

____________________________________________________________________________

On that day, the Purge King identity of Natsuki Subaru was let go, to fade into the world of monochromality. He no longer needed it as a preface for all of his actions, as he had obtained a new one: Emilia.

When he had uttered those fateful words, a smile grew upon Emilia’s face that brought vibrance to all the world around him. He could see the world again, for all its different hues. The grayness in the stone, the blue in the river, the whiteness of the clouds. However, none of it compared to the splendor that stood before him.

Emilia had quietly walked into his chest, and buried herself into it. But before she had done that, she had stuck her lips right next to Subaru’s ear and had said what nobody else could to him.

“I love you too.”

Upon hearing such words, the Purge King had ceased to exist. In his place, stood Natsuki Subaru. Perhaps irredeemable, perhaps the perpetrator to the worst of crimes. Even so, he still had one thing. 

He had Emilia. Someone who he could trust. Someone who he could confidently say he loved. And better yet, someone who he could say loved him back.

For today was the day where he could happily say one thing: “I was wrong. Not everybody betrays me.”

Was it a possibility that she would come to hate him? Yes.

Was it a possibility that she might betray him? Absolutely. She could leave him on the side of the road, tell him how much of a scumbag he truly was, and leave.

But that was the thing. It was only a possibility, in a sea of endless ones. And unless the day were to come where he was told all of those things, Subaru would try his hardest to be someone that could be loved. He would most definitely try to become someone worthy of being loved by Emilia. He would try to limit those possibilities, but not by cutting them off. That was the way of the Purge King, not Natsuki Subaru.

Natsuki Subaru would give his all to become someone who was worth the love of Emilia. And until he reached that peak, he would have the very same girl backing him, telling him he could do it. 

He would save a life for every one he had taken. He would redeem himself. As Natsuki Subaru, loved only by Emilia, and likewise, the only person who loved Emilia.

Maybe there was something good that could come of change. Just maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, what's up? Sorry this isn't a Tales From Zero update, but trust me, it's in the works. I just felt like writing this instead. Tales From Zero isn't going to be getting updated this week(I think) because I have midterms! YAY! Anycase, hope you enjoyed this one-shot to give the Wrath IF a better ending. If any of you are interested in continuing this, the cannon was gonna be that Satella shot them off to Konosuba(Cause I thought that would be a pretty good place to do a redemption arc, given the shenanigans we see going on in that world). I might continue this, but I probably won't because of Tales From Zero. So, stay safe, enjoy yourselves, etc.!
> 
> -Grim


End file.
